Creating vs. Consuming

And what happens when they get all out of balance

I've been on social media a lot lately. Twenty-five percent more than I was at the end of August, according to those handy little screen time reports on my phone. The same ones that inform me that Instagram and Substack are at the top of the leaderboard for where I spend that time.

So I must have a super active Instagram account, right? Maybe I've gotten really into Substack Notes and I'm spending a ton of time engaging there?

Nope. And nope.

The last time I posted to Instagram was on August 31, after a more than 2-month hiatus (the second most recent post before that is dated June 22). My grid is unintentionally just a bunch of Healthier Hustle posts.

Also, I've posted to Substack Notes exactly three times. And lest you assume that I'm interacting with other people's posts and just not making my own, let me disavow you of that as well (but thank you for thinking so highly of me). I'm not posting. I'm not re-posting. I'm not commenting.

I am scrolling.

And scrolling.

And scrolling.¹

For 3 hours and 3 minutes a day.

And yes, sure, some of that time is actually reading lengthy, lovely articles here on Substack. And of course, I'm checking my work email and chat while I'm away from my office. And absolutely, I do listen to podcasts. I can try to justify some of those hours on my phone with these very logical explanations, but the truth of the matter is that I'm consuming way more than I'm creating. And the truer truth, the actual heart and soul of the matter is—it bothers me.

I've noticed that I'm sitting down on Monday after dinner to write this as my Wednesday early morning deadline approaches. And yet, I had plenty of time to start it over the weekend. That bothers me.

I've noticed the stack of books on things I'd like to dive deeper into just keeps growing taller, while I keep checking Instagram, for just a minute. That bothers me.

I've noticed those emails and texts from friends that I put on the back burner while I just finish reading this one last article. That bothers me.

There are things I want to create—essays, and articles, and relationships, and yet here I am spending all my time consuming the things other people make instead of making my own thing.

So how do I move the fulcrum on this one and bring myself back to a place where I'm creating more than I'm consuming? There are solutions that come quickly and neatly packaged: the digital detox, the guardrails, the I'm deleting the app for the weekends. But I suspect this is going to take something different. Something deeper. Like figuring out what I'm avoiding by not creating. Failure? Success? Criticism? Praise? Some bizarre cocktail of all four?

The sort of deep personal excavation that is less of a quick fix and more of a lifelong journey. So while I'm sorting through that, I'm going to have to take the easier said than done method and—

Just create.

Instead of deleting apps and setting time limits, I'm setting a different rule: if I'm on the app, I have to create something: a post of my own, a contribution to the conversation, a celebration of someone else's work. I'm going to experiment with the idea that perhaps breaking the mindless loop of social media isn't about using the apps less, but using them more. More consciously, more actively, more generatively.

Here goes nothing.

Or everything.

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Beautiful Thing of the Week

Just a little something I consumed (and loved!) this week. Longer versions of these lists are published every other week for paid subscribers.

🎧 I’ve got Marcus Mumford’s Grace on repeat, right now.

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Do you struggle with the consumption vs. creation ratio? Anything you’ve tried that works to get it back in line? Thoughts on my grand experiment? Want to play along?

Be well, find tiny joy-

Mary Chris

1. When I reread this I heard it in Adam Duritz’s voice like the lyric “spinning, and spinning, and spinning” in the song St. Robinson In His Cadillac Dream.