You touch on a widely shared sentiment. It helps to articulate it - what exactly is this lassitude about? I'm of the belief that for us to navigate it, we've got to name it and, like a complex disease process, identify its contributors, its feeders. I think discomfort itself can be a gift. It leads us to a deeper level of inquiry and perhaps opens us up to the larger suffering that we otherwise would not have seen. My plight of isolation and wearing a mask is such a privileged triviality compared to one fleeing a war-torn country clinging on to the side of a capsize boat.
Yes, yes. So many of us are feeling this. Thank you for putting words to it: "Pushing through the tiredness, convinced we’ll just adapt is not setting us up for success. It’s setting us up to accept this level of exhaustion as just how things are. I know this intellectually, and yet I feel myself doing it. Coaching myself to dig deep and get it done just as I always have. The instinct for this is strong." I'm right there with you. How do we stop? It reminded me of what Oliver Burkeman says in his wonderful book Four Thousand Weeks about realizing we will never get the to-do list done. It's impossible. But once we get over that mental hurdle (I'm still not there yet) and accept it, then we can pick what we want to spend our time on. Knowing doing everything is impossible can bring peace, he says, because there's no guilt or shame or pressure if it really is impossible. I know, it sounds wild, but I think he might be onto something.
I just ordered Four Thousand Weeks from my local bookstore after it multiple recommendations (the bookseller even sent a note back on my order telling me how much it impacted her)! I'm really excited to read it. And I do think he's right about the task of completing all our to-do list things being impossible, but like you am still working on getting over the mental hurdle of letting go of things I'm "supposed" to get done.
This is a great reframe, Mary-Chris. One I need to do a better job at reminding myself of throughout the day!
The impact that the pandemic has had on social interactions saddens me as many of those small exchanges like a flashing a smile or holding the door for someone are often not possible or less welcomed. I'm not sure what the "normal" of the future looks like, but I hope it's one in which we value each other and cherish social interactions!
Such a good point about how the pandemic has impacted even the smallest of social interactions. I couldn't agree more that whatever "normal" we're headed into I do hope we value and appreciate connection.
Spot on! Even though we are still in an a pandemic and we're all exhausted, I still feel the pressure to do everything right in this very moment. For me, social media plays a part in this, scrolling past tweets exclaiming new bylines or positions or book deals. The highlight reels can make it feel like everyone is always producing something cool and exciting, which is not the case. 100% quality over quantity!
You are so right about social media! And I love your phrasing "the highlight reel" because that's really what it is-- it's easy to feel like you're the only one not accomplishing things when you just see all the big announcements.
Mary Chris, I so relate to everything you've written here. This year has been exhausting, and I find myself hearing about (or scrolling past) a good number of people's immense plans for the year. I love what you've said about quality over quantity! Such a good framing of approach.
Thanks so much, Sara! I'm glad it resonated, but sorry you're feeling the exhaustion too. I'm definitely feeling the pull toward a slower, gentler pace.
You touch on a widely shared sentiment. It helps to articulate it - what exactly is this lassitude about? I'm of the belief that for us to navigate it, we've got to name it and, like a complex disease process, identify its contributors, its feeders. I think discomfort itself can be a gift. It leads us to a deeper level of inquiry and perhaps opens us up to the larger suffering that we otherwise would not have seen. My plight of isolation and wearing a mask is such a privileged triviality compared to one fleeing a war-torn country clinging on to the side of a capsize boat.
Yes, yes. So many of us are feeling this. Thank you for putting words to it: "Pushing through the tiredness, convinced we’ll just adapt is not setting us up for success. It’s setting us up to accept this level of exhaustion as just how things are. I know this intellectually, and yet I feel myself doing it. Coaching myself to dig deep and get it done just as I always have. The instinct for this is strong." I'm right there with you. How do we stop? It reminded me of what Oliver Burkeman says in his wonderful book Four Thousand Weeks about realizing we will never get the to-do list done. It's impossible. But once we get over that mental hurdle (I'm still not there yet) and accept it, then we can pick what we want to spend our time on. Knowing doing everything is impossible can bring peace, he says, because there's no guilt or shame or pressure if it really is impossible. I know, it sounds wild, but I think he might be onto something.
I just ordered Four Thousand Weeks from my local bookstore after it multiple recommendations (the bookseller even sent a note back on my order telling me how much it impacted her)! I'm really excited to read it. And I do think he's right about the task of completing all our to-do list things being impossible, but like you am still working on getting over the mental hurdle of letting go of things I'm "supposed" to get done.
This is a great reframe, Mary-Chris. One I need to do a better job at reminding myself of throughout the day!
The impact that the pandemic has had on social interactions saddens me as many of those small exchanges like a flashing a smile or holding the door for someone are often not possible or less welcomed. I'm not sure what the "normal" of the future looks like, but I hope it's one in which we value each other and cherish social interactions!
Such a good point about how the pandemic has impacted even the smallest of social interactions. I couldn't agree more that whatever "normal" we're headed into I do hope we value and appreciate connection.
Spot on! Even though we are still in an a pandemic and we're all exhausted, I still feel the pressure to do everything right in this very moment. For me, social media plays a part in this, scrolling past tweets exclaiming new bylines or positions or book deals. The highlight reels can make it feel like everyone is always producing something cool and exciting, which is not the case. 100% quality over quantity!
You are so right about social media! And I love your phrasing "the highlight reel" because that's really what it is-- it's easy to feel like you're the only one not accomplishing things when you just see all the big announcements.
Mary Chris, I so relate to everything you've written here. This year has been exhausting, and I find myself hearing about (or scrolling past) a good number of people's immense plans for the year. I love what you've said about quality over quantity! Such a good framing of approach.
Thanks so much, Sara! I'm glad it resonated, but sorry you're feeling the exhaustion too. I'm definitely feeling the pull toward a slower, gentler pace.