Stumbling into Presence
And wondering if there is a roadmap to find it again
I recently attended a Diana Krall concert. I've always admired her deep, soulful voice and her unique interpretation of many jazz standards. This particular show was just her and a piano. She announced at the beginning that she was going to play some of her favorites, like she does at home, late at night. The piano top was covered in sheet music, not because she needed to look at the music or lyrics, but more like it was there to spark inspiration about what to play next. She played songs and told stories. At one point, we all sang along with Elvis' Can't Help Falling in Love.
When she stood up to take a bow, I was surprised. It felt like no time had passed. Yet, it had been well over an hour. It was like being in a flow state, so immersed in what you're doing that you lose track of time. But flow is an active state, accessed when you are doing something, and I wasn't the one playing the piano and singing. So, what exactly was the word for this experience?
When it finally came to me, I had to laugh that it hadn’t been more top of mind. This magical experience I had was—
drumroll, please . . .
being PRESENT.
For about 75 minutes, it had just been me, the dimly lit, twinkly ceiling-ed theatre, and Diana’s music and stories. I hadn't looked at my phone. I hadn't been doing something else while listening in the background. I hadn't task switched from listening to something else and back again.
I had just listened.
So if it's that easy, then I should just be able to cue up some music and set down my phone and just BE anytime I want to, right? Except we all know it doesn’t work that way. In a world of a million inputs, this idea of pausing and focusing only on one thing sounds easy and yet isn't at all. So what was it that made the conditions just right at that concert?
It was planned and intentional. I bought the tickets, put the time on the calendar months ago. Enjoying the music was the plan. There weren't other priorities competing for that time.
Everyone else was paying attention. We tend to think of social pressure as a negative (and it certainly can be) but there’s good pressure too. It would be rude to break out a brightly lit phone and distract everyone else’s quiet focus. There was a positive social contract to be present and attentive.
It was engaging. I love live music and I especially love hearing musicians' stories behind the music. I wanted to hear every word of every story and song. Maybe it’s music for you too, or maybe it’s something entirely different. The point is if we’re naturally drawn to it, naturally insatiably curious about it, we’re more likely to be present for it.
Do those three things guarantee moments in which your mind doesn’t wander? Of course not. We’re humans living in a world literally designed to distract us. But maybe it can happen more often if we’re intentional about it. Maybe often enough at least, that we don’t forget the word for the feeling:
PRESENT.
Community Conversations
Lots of great insights on the idea of wellness toolboxes from this post from a couple weeks ago:
- shared her lovely morning routine in the comments: “I love to get up early (before the sun). It gives me the illusion of timelessness for I always put on a pot of coffee (I do love coffee!), light a candle, and then as the coffee perks enjoy meditation in the dark. Lately, I've been playing in the Waking Up app (Sam Harris) . . .”
And
mentioned these top tools: “The best things are time in the fresh air, riding my horse, stretching/yoga/Pilates, super deep dark chocolate, sleep (the last thing I usually choose to do for myself), spending time making things and sewing.”Over on LinkedIn, T Alford, had this to share: “My Wellness Toolbox consists of Mindfulness Meditation, Mindfulness Walking, Mindfulness Eating, and Mindfulness Rest....Bottom line, focus on myself and what's in front of me right now......”
Things of Beauty conversations of late include all the squirrel things and also some sourdough.
Mindful Moment
Squirrel of the Week
This pen was a gift from my friend Cristen makes me smile every time I see it on my desk (I mean, that google-y eye!)
I’m curious— have you had moments of presence recently? Did you remember what to call them? Any thoughts on the conditions that helped facilitate those magical moments?
First up, I just think it’s hilarious you called a section, “Squirrel of the Week.” Made my morning right there! Thank you for sharing my comment. And then on Presence (great topic) I think your first point, being intentional, hits the nail on the head. Within my practice toolbox, setting a timer (like for an hour), establishing an intention to deeply focus for that period - helps me spot the distractions quicker and set them aside as they inevitably arise.
Being present is so essential to healthy living, at yet, we so often forget to do it. Come on, humans. Wake up! :)