I've been saying "yes" to a lot of things recently. On face value, this seems to run counter to the idea of building something you care about and not burning out, as the not burning out would seem to require boundaries evoked by saying no. And yet, saying yes to things feels paramount to the building of a thing.
How might we make sense of this dichotomy?
My recent yeses are to meetings, workshops, and class presentations as I work to build the footprint of my work with life design at my university. But it's a familiar feeling, harkening back to when I was saying yes to lots of writing-related things like group book signings, moderating or presenting at conferences, and being on boards.
On the surface, it would be easy to say that it's just a short season: some reorganization is happening, the timing is right to highlight a certain curriculum; the book is in a genre that is currently the hot thing. A strike-while-the-iron-is-hot moment. And while there is truth to that, is the iron ever really, truly cold? There will always be something else in flux, another it thing. Which means thinking that you're just in a temporary Season of The Yes without any parameters around it could easily slide into burnout.
If you're navigating one of those times in life when it seems important to say yes way more than you say no, check in regularly with yourself about what isn't getting done. Because everything won't get done. There is no way to say yes more in one area of your life and do all the things you were doing previously before adding that new thing. The important thing is to consider what these things that fall away are. Maybe you don't get through your inbox as quickly or don't make elaborate dinners as often or don't participate as actively on that committee you're on. These things may feel like fair trade-offs. Things like missing time with your family or continuously cutting into your sleep and/or exercise routine may feel more detrimental. Stay aware of what gets cut out as you say yes more, and when the things that feel non-negotiable to you start to slip, then perhaps it's time to deploy a little more "no."
There's not going to be a perfect ratio of "yes" to "no" that leads to upward growth. It's always going to take more yeses. And these seasons of building may be brief or may last seemingly indefinitely. What matters most is that you keep checking in to make sure the things you hold closest, the things that make you, you — aren't being left undone.
This Week Last Year
Squirrel of the Week
British squirrels take over a train!
What’s been your experience with just saying yes? How do you evaluate whether you’re doing too much or just enough? Got any good squirrel news stories to share?