Do you ever question your desire to create the things you say you want to create? Or do the things you say you want to do? Maybe you're working on building an engaged following and body of work with your writing here on Substack (or elsewhere). Perhaps you're working to build a business around your design work. Or you keep jotting down ideas for that workshop you want to lead. Maybe it's not tied to a business at all— you'd really like to finish that scarf you started knitting or train for that 10K that's been on your bucket list.
When this question comes up, do you suddenly wonder if maybe you don't actually want that thing you're creating or doing? As in, if I really liked this I would want to do it, I must not actually be that interested in it, right?"
If so, I want to challenge that doubt1 and encourage you to consider a couple reframes on how you might evaluate your interest in a project.
There are a bunch of reasons we have trouble sitting down to start a thing. Fear, overwhelm, burnout, prioritizing other things (sometimes for wonderful reasons, sometimes less so), those little devices we carry around that are designed to keep us addicted to them. Focusing is hard. Carving out time is hard.
It takes discipline.
But, wait, you're thinking— discipline is the thing I need to do stuff that's important but unpleasant, like getting bloodwork done at my yearly physical or cleaning the burned chickpeas out of my oven. If I LOVE a thing it should just come easily, right?
Wrong.
There's the first reframe: in our connected, always on world it all takes discipline. The things we don't like, the things we do, and everything in-between. Judging our interest in something we feel called to or curious about based on our ability to sit down and do the thing at any given moment is putting it to an unfair test.
The better test? How do you feel after you have done the thing?
That's the other reframe. If you're concerned that perhaps your interest in the things you say you desire to do is waning, reflect on how you feel AFTER you've done them, not how hard it is to get started. Once you've finished a writing session, gone for a run, completed design work for a client, outlined that workshop— then how do you feel? Accomplished? Excited about continuing the work in the next session? Curious about what comes next? If you're generally feeling something described as positive, there's your sign that you're on the right track. And if you aren't, then you can feel more confident in that feedback, since you've given it a much more fair test.
In those moments of questioning, dig into your discipline, do the thing and then and only then focus on how you feel.
Look for the afterglow.
Community Conversations
The topic of uncertainty really resonated:
- had this to say in the comments: "I definitely have a tendency to go down negative spirals. Your advice to step back and acknowledge what the actual facts are is really helpful. Going to use that next time I start to go negative. Thanks, Mary Chris :)"
Sally C. shared this over on LinkedIn: "I needed to read this, so thank you! Sitting in uncertainty is a skill that can be improved, but sharpening the skill can feel daunting to me. I love the idea of a toolbox for tangible ways to find your footing."
Also from LinkedIn Amy L. seconded this thought from the article: "It's all about finding your footing enough to take just one step at a time. Of course, this is much harder than it sounds sometimes!"
It's so great to connect with you all about the topics we're exploring at The Healthier Hustle, thank you so much for taking the time to share your thoughts each week!
Mindful Moment
This song shows up on a playlist I use fairly often and it always makes me pause and take a deep breath:
Squirrel of the Week
Interrupting the squirrel content to bring you Woody the Alpaca (h/t to my friend Mariah for hosting a backyard petting zoo and reminding us all this sort of thing isn't just for kids).
Do you find it hard to sit down and do the things you enjoy or create the things you want to create? How do you find the discipline to do it? What does it feel like afterward? Have you found your afterglow?2
I'm challenging you, because I was recently challenged (in all the best ways) to think about this in a group coaching session with Ellie Burke, and it's been a really helpful reframe for me.
This is such an important insight: "reflect on how you feel AFTER you've done them, not how hard it is to get started." Feeling follows action. You rarely feel like starting the thing but you are almost always happy having done the thing.
The afterglow!! What a beautiful way to frame this feeling. I love how you paired the feeling with the discipline that's often required to arrive at the feeling. Much to think about...